So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
Randomize
