The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
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