BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
You were trust falling into bushes
Randomize
