no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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