very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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