I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
either way he was missing a nipple.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
I got inside last night via doggy door
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
