Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
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