Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
