There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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