the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize
