FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Randomize
