you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
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