areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
I feel like abortions should bother me more
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Randomize
