what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Randomize
