My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Randomize
