I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
I think im going to throw up on grandma
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I am naked and annoyed.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
