i don't plan on having that self control this summer
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
