Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize
