Can Purell be used as lube?
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Randomize
