Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
