even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Randomize
