nut hugger
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
