It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Randomize
