would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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