Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
