Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
