After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
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