girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
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