she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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