oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Randomize
