girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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