Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
