I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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