the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
I want a musical about memes.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
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