I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Randomize
