i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
