I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
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