Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Randomize
