I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Dick very happy bro
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
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