All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
