Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
