Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
Randomize
