Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
