This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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