If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
