At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Randomize