Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Randomize
