i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Terrible idea I love it
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
