I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
