420 ftw
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
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