If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Sacagawea was the original milf.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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