I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
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